Tuesday, November 20, 2012
good bye baby
Today my Midwifes office informed me that my miscarriage is complete, and my "levels are back to normal". Wow! This all seems so surreal; indeed I miscarried, I was pregnant-I had not even known I was expecting. It all started last month when I skipped my period. Right away I took a test, and it was negative - I figured I was skipping my period because I am still nursing a lot, and I read this can cause irregular periods. I began what I thought was a period the following month. That first day was awful, the pain was worse than any period i'd ever had. Then I passed 2 very large clots - this was my tip off that I might be miscarrying. So I called my mid-wife and she sent me for blood tests to confirm my hormone levels. I was so surprised when they told me I was pregnant! And I just knew this was it! The beginning of the end of my time with this child with in me! This would have been our sixth child - he or she is now in heaven and God willing I will meet that child someday. I am sure God is trying to teach us something through this- but I do not know what it is. Was it an answer to my prayer to have another baby - even though I was not totally sure we were ready? Was it a test? How much do we trust in Him - that He will make up for what we lack? Well if anything this will get my husband and I to talk about if we are or are not ready for another baby.